Push My Butt!

Keep reading and you will understand the title of this blog post.

Zoe and I decided to head to familiar trails for an easy ride on a hot day.  We boarded at a barn on the edge of the Agricultural History Park so the trails were "home" to us and the horses.  As we passed near the turn off for the barn, both horses wanted to head up the trail to their former home.

Heading down familiar trails

We had a relaxing ride through the woods where it felt much cooler than 90 degrees.  On the way back to the trailer, we rode through a wide creek for the second time.  We stopped to let the horses drink.

Deja gets a drink

A minute after I took this photo, Queenie decided to roll in the creek

Queenie began wading through the creek.  She headed for an area where the creek bottom dropped.  I turned her away from the spot because it looked as though my boots would get wet if she went into the deeper water.  Suddenly Zoe screamed, "She's going to roll!!"  At the same time, I felt Queenie's back end start to drop.  In what seemed like slow motion, she started to kneel.  It seemed like I had minutes instead of seconds to plan my exit.

To avoid being pinned under her, I pushed myself out of the saddle and into the deep creek bank mud.  And I do mean deep.  My right leg and arm sank into the thick goo.  There was no way around it, I was covered in mud on one side.

Muddy me

I immediately thought of my phone which was in the front saddle bag.  Queenie had rolled on to her right side and was gleefully splashing in the water.  I reached out and grabbed my phone from the saddle bag.  Whew!  It wasn't wet.

My next thought was that she would try to roll completely over and ruin my saddle.  So I started yelling and pushing her to get up.  She complied, stood up and of course, gave one good muddy shake.

Back in the saddle, I could see the thick mud stuck on my leg

Queenie's saddle blanket went from purple to brown

Luckily my synthetic saddle was easy to clean

My saddle bag contained mud and water

We led the horses out of the woods and into the field which left me with another problem.  How was I going to get back on her?  I have terrible back problems and have to get steroid shots in the spine every few months.  (Okay, I really shouldn't be riding but I waited 45 years to get a horse and I am not about to give up now).

And so here's where the title comes in.  The field had a slight incline so I positioned Queenie "downhill" and I managed to get my foot in the stirrup.  As I struggled to pull myself up, I yelled to Zoe, "push my butt."  She did and it gave me just enough oomph to get into the saddle.  Luckily, Zoe's horse, Deja is small enough that she can mount from the ground without help.

Once on our way back, we started laughing hysterically, especially when I remembered that as I was trying to stop Queenie from rolling over, I called her a "you f...ing animal."  But I can never stay mad at her for long because she is such a wonderful horse.  And even when she goes down to roll when I'm on her, she does it slow enough that I have plenty of time to roll out of the way. 

Now, you would think that would be enough excitement for one ride.  But no, the best (well, really the worst) was yet to come.


We got back to the trailers and prepared to return to the barn.  Queenie loads so easily that I had her on in about a minute.  Deja is a different story.  The process requires two people and over the past few months, we've got it down  to about 5-10 minutes.  Deja goes into the trailer easily but doesn't stay.  She spins rapidly and exits the trailer.  This occurs a few times before she'll settle down long enough for Zoe to feed her treats in the trailer.  I stand behind the trailer door while this ritual occurs.  When Deja is quiet and focused on her treats and hay, Zoe will yell for me to shut the door.  I close both of them in the trailer and go around to unlock the escape door (appropriately named in this case) for Zoe to get out of the trailer.  

Unfortunately, the routine didn't work so well today.  Zoe had Deja in the trailer before I was in position behind the door.  When I walked up to the trailer, Deja took one look at me and I could see her thinking, "It's the bitch that always closes the door.  I'm out of here."  She shot off the trailer so fast that Zoe lost her grip on the lead rope.

Deja trotted slowly away, dragging her lead rope.  Zoe and I held our breath that she would go a short distance and stop to graze.  Not happening.  Instead, Deja broke into a canter and gave a little buck of glee.  Then we saw her catch sight of her lead rope flapping beside her and with that,  Deja galloped out of sight.  We ran to the top of the hill, calling her but she was already in the woods.

Zoe was certain that Deja was headed for our old barn and she called the owner, Debbie to tell her that Deja might be on her way there.  Debbie immediately said she would start walking the trails toward our location.

Zoe continued across the field and into the woods, following the trail that we had completed earlier, part of which ran alongside our old barn.  I ran back to my trailer and drove to Debbie's barn.  When I arrived, I put Queenie in one of the pastures and headed down the trails.  I didn't get very far before Zoe called to say that Debbie had caught up with Deja trotting calmly through the woods.  Deja remembered Debbie and went right to her.

Zoe put Deja in the field with Queenie and we headed back to get Zoe's trailer.

It was so nice to see folks from our old barn though I wish it had been under less stressful circumstances and that I hadn't been covered in mud.

You can imagine how relieved we were to get the horses back to the farm.  After putting Queenie out for the night, I began the task of cleaning my saddle pad, saddle bags, clothes, boots and of course, my saddle.

I bought a relatively inexpensive saddle when I got Queenie and I haven't had the extra income to purchase a better all-leather one.  A good portion of the saddle is synthetic so it was easy to give that part a good scrub and put it in front of the fan to dry since I have another ride planned for tomorrow.  I doubt my boots will dry out for tomorrow's ride, particularly the right one which was filled with water.

My right boot was filled with mud and water

After everything was washed and drying, I rewarded myself with a little liquid relaxation.